The palliative care floor of a major hospital is a strange place to be. On the one hand, it's designed for comfort and care of patients and should be viewed as a cocoon of security amidst a very trying time. On the other hand, it's a microcosm of strange family relations, of facing your own perceptions of death, of facing fear and learning what to do with all of these difficult moments. It can be a very scary place.
Today, as we pass the second day of Dad being placed into palliative comfort care, we wait.
We wait together, and we wait alone.
We all wonder. How long will it be? Will it be scary?
We are all afraid to talk much about the future. The after. The time when everything will be so different even as it's all the same except for one huge gaping hole.
And yet, even in this hard time, I am grateful. For a life well spent doing the best he could at every moment. Grateful for the family coming together. Grateful that I'm here. Grateful for everything Dad did for me, for us.
Grateful to know that he'll be free soon.
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